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Rip Lopusnak’s stories, poems, and half-baked philosophical rants haven't appeared in The New Yorker, The New York Times, The Paris Review, Best American Poetry, or anywhere remotely prestigious. He's the author of Frank: Volume 1, and if the world doesn’t cancel him first, he’ll go on to write Frank: Volume 2, Deal with God, The Jersey Devil, and the dangerously overdue rant on the toy industry Choking Hazzard.